For dating a divorced man
I have found that men who have been married are a bit more structured and familiar with the little things.recently) divorced, and you’re wondering if dating this man is a good idea. Some people might automatically say you shouldn’t date anyone who falls into this category, but I’m not a fan of telling someone whether they date someone. My approach is to help you get super realistic about what you want, and what you’re getting into, so that you can make your decision to stay or leave as as possible.There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife.
Why Some Relationships Fail Before getting into the meat of what to do, I’d like to take a little bit of time to share with you statistics about relationships.Ladies, as much as we love men (and, I really do), we want to acknowledge that they can often mature, grow up and find their way in a relationship a bit more slowly than women do.I believe that marriage teaches men responsibility, structure, how to co-define reality, what women want and how to put someone else before themselves.They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.